


please don't go, I love you so

by bloodypatronus



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Character Death, Dark, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Murder, Other, POV First Person, POV Second Person, Professors, Songfic, Strangulation, Students, Teacher-Student Relationship, University
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:33:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26655217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodypatronus/pseuds/bloodypatronus
Summary: TW: stalker, obsession, professor/student relationship (one-sided), strangulation.I see you. I watch you. Yet I never bother you. Just admiring from afar, as a museum exhibit. We only have so much time as the exams are nearing.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 10





	please don't go, I love you so

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write a teacher/student fic and I had a song to take inspiration from.
> 
> alt-j – breezeblocks
> 
> (though I suggest switching to rammstein - mein herz brennt when you reach the last paragraph)
> 
> I started with no definite plot in mind. As I was writing, it transformed and developed into this. And so, by 3 am I had a finished work written in about 3 hours.
> 
> It wasn't written with any specific genders in mind, so you can read it as homosexual, heterosexual, whatever -sexual relationship you want. Although, male professor makes more sense for me.
> 
> Hopefully, you will appreciate the atmosphere I attempted to achieve.

A sigh. A glance. A lip bite as you brush a stubborn curl behind your ear. Never more than a gentle fleeting touch handing in another, I'm sure of it, A+ assignment. You never disappoint _academically_. Yet once exams are finished, I'll be just a ghost of a memory, another one of many professors you had classes with, and you won't as much as look at me nor say _«Good evening, sir»._

_Never kisses, all you ever send are fullstops_

I read your essays as if they were love letters, and not analysis of Greek poems. Inhaling the slight perfume aroma left on the right side of the paper. Following your scripture with a fingertip, rough texture instead of soft skin. Hearing your voice in every word. Seeing things that are never there in-between lines. Are cryptic messages something you would do or would you rather write everything in plain? No, I don't suppose you'd do anything of the sort.

_The fear has gripped me, but here I go_

_My heart sinks as I jump up_

_Your hand grips hand as my eyes shut_

Last class before the exam has ended. Everybody has already left, and you're packing your thing up with care. I'm halfway up, having built up the courage for a first step, as a blond boy comes up to you and starts talking some nonsense, picks up the list of our exam questions and makes a joke, apparently. And you _smile_ shyly, cheeks blushed, and _that ringlet of yours_ that he dares to touch for you. I sit back down, gripping the table so as not to grip _his neck_. I stop myself from giving away any visible reaction, instead shuffling through my notes and papers. There's no need to let you know now.

_She may contain the urge to run away_

_But hold her down with soggy clothes and breezeblocks_

It's 10 pm. Only a few students have classes this late, even fewer staff. I can see you from my window, standing at the arched entrance, waiting. The boy from earlier isn't with you, to my surprise and delight. Muffled tapping of rain on the window breaks the silence in the room. I get my coat, and not much else. I wouldn't need my papers tonight, I have other work to do. I encounter no one on my way outside, so I make sure you hear me as I'm nearing you. I wouldn't want to startle you, now, would I? Shiver goes down my spine as we discuss the whole course, goosebumps prickle my arms. I'm impressed you don't notice how hard it is for me to breathe. I hold out my umbrella, as you seem to have none, and lead you into the shadows of the imposing university building. You lean into me to have more cover from rain, and I can feel the heat radiating from you, the wet weather amplifying your natural body smell. My senses are so overwhelmed, I nearly lose my footing. That, you notice but mistake it for slippery stone steps. It's too late and dark to wait for a bus, so I offer you a ride home. Not suspiciously eagerly, _earnestly_. You accept and tell me the directions. After goodbyes I watch you run up to the porch and disappear behind the double wooden door. I wait until I see the window on the fourth floor light up. I watch your silhouette move some more before finally leaving you alone.

_She bruises, coughs, she splutters pistol shots_

_She's morphine, queen of my vaccine_

The day of the exam I'm elated. I practically had to stop myself from dancing as I was preparing the classroom. I will finally tell you all. I have a plan, and I intend to follow it through this time. The exam flies by fast, and I'm eager to be left alone with you, hoping for a word. As we finish, though, you're met by the boy from last week and you go outside together. It seems you have an escort tonight. I could feel my body starting to tremble violently. So then, you run away from me without a goodbye. Has that night never happened then? Have I dreamt it? Or was I just a bothersome nuisance to you? A dirt on your shoes to be rid of without a second thought? I slid out the backdoor and followed you closely, far enough for you not to see me. Just as you reached the aqueduct I caught up with you, getting behind the boy and slitting his throat from the back with a flick of a hand. Stepping over his slumped body I capture your wrist and wrench it so as to fling and press you into the stone wall. You don't even have time to register the shock, my hands already on your neck. Your pulse beats almost as fast as the tick-tock sound in my mind, blood pumping loudly in my whole body, as you grip my forearms, thrashing. Seems like for once we're synchronised. One more time I leave you breathless, this time with my hands rather than my lecture about Oedipus Rex. I've never seen you more beautiful, more enticing than now: glowing pale skin with slightly pinkish cheeks, dark unmoving eyes on me, your undivided attention all mine forever. I gently touch your cheek as colour begins to leave it. That doesn't matter, you're still a piece of art to me. Now, we still have some work to do to have our forever. I take you up into my arms and bring you to my car. Oh, you're going to love it, dear. I have prepared the room just to your liking. We just need some chemicals to make your beauty last, don't we? And then you will always be with me.

_Please don't go, I'll eat you whole_

_I love you so, I love you so_

**Author's Note:**

> I might make it into a teacher/student series with different situations if it gets attention and love (so please, leave comments and kudos, thank you)


End file.
